Movies I Would Like to Make: A Synopsis

Shitty Thoughts About You - A light hearted, yet mean spirited romantic comedy.

Killed by White People - six day long documentary about people throughout history that have been killed by white folk.

Viruses - About a sick man. A very, very sick man.

Post Modern Gun Owners - movie that depicts gun owners killing people in a recklessly but they are aware that they are behaving in a stereotypical redneck fashion and make fun of themselves in a dry, witty, urbane way.

Dead Doctor's Delivery - about an un-dead doctor going into stand-up comedy with terrible delivery. The drama is about his struggles. His painful, in minutiae struggle to perfect his delivery of jokes. Painful, in minutiae, delivery of un-dead observation styled jokes.

Citizen Krap - like Citizen Kane only the guy's name is changed to Krap. And then document the inherent downfall of someone with a lousy last name.

Hugo Chavez Overdrive - Hugo Chavez in a never seen before side of him. Driving Ferraris, drinking, snorting coke, snorting oil, solving crimes, and all the while governing Venezuela above reproach. He obviously now as acceded to US demands and sold out the poor people of his country. Mostly this movie is him driving and shooting disenfranchised poor people.

Ditch Livin' - independent style movie with bittersweet denouements about people talking, laughing, crying, and pathos; but everyone lives in the ditch.

Imagining Mohamed - a movie for infidels that imagine Mohamed. What he would have worn and looked like even though Islam strictly forbids images sculpted or drawn of the Prophet, they cannot take away the infidels powerful imagining of him.

PussyAssSex - porno with a wimpy guy having sex with various people; anal and vaginal. But done in a milquetoast style by the protagonist.

Deadly Till Dawn - Nocturnal lemurs run amok in this heady thriller about lemurs who are big and stuff and do things to people who are sleeping. Perhaps there be a scene where the head lemur is raping a hot chick.

First Lady

Technically I am single. Though, my relationship(s) would be controversial if I told anyone. Basically I am married to my hands. ahem.

So, now that we got that out of the way, I am having trouble with all the positive news coming out of the Democratic National Convention. Speech after speech. Hit after hit. I cannot abide by this, this... wonderfulness. So Fuck It.

I am looking for a 1st lady. If you look like this:


or are named Jill Hennessey then we'll get along just fine.

Alive in the (un)known

Taking a break from stupidities from the faux campaign. I mean, seriously, even for faux campaigns I'm not serious. My dog for running mate? Fuck it.

Being alive is a state of life. A rite of passage for the poverty stricken. The next meal, the next drink of clean water, shelter, health. Alive is a way of life.

Alive till the next light and then a state of life is fought for. Never expecting more than the next meal, clean water, shelter, clothes, and maybe good health; if you're lucky.

People at Daily Kos are acting like asshats

Yup. Joe Biden's Obama's running mate. You should see all the crap that is being flung there, right now. Click on DKos blog link that I have. Go there now! If you read this to late, they have an awesome search engine. Search for Biden on the site, and it will take to some of the most moronic posts ever. I cannot express my opinion on there right now, without getting piled on. I'll wait till the stupidity dies.

And it's rife with stupidity. Lots of people concerned worried happy, overjoyed, laughing, crying, yawning, vomiting, diarrhea-verbal, crap, blah, blah, blah.

I would have picked Hillary Clinton. That's a one-two combination that couldn't be beat. Turns out though, they probably wouldn't work well together. Also, she didn't want the job. So...

Anyway, had to vent. Normally that site is not so caca coo coo. But this election year...

My Running Mate

You guys, all three of you, will be the first to find out who my running mate will be. (drum roll) My dog Harley! He's a Shih Tzu, mostly black with a bit of white on his chest. A 'tuxedo' kind of Shih Tzu. So, we match up a little bit with Obama. My dog has foreign policy experience based on the ancient instincts of his ancestors passed onto him from the Tibetan and Chinese mountains.

I have beaten the others except Nader I think, on choosing my running mate. I don't even want to speculate on the other candidates choice for VP because all of them make me want to wretch! Except Obama, for him I will swallow my vomit and not spew it all over my floor.

Simple, short, concise, condensed for your reading pleasure. And once again, feast your eyes on gorgeousness and incredible cuteness of my running mate, Harley.

Note: I have yet to clear this with the 'other' caretaker. I'm sure she won't mind. ahem

Trashing my Opponents Because as I Understand it, This is One of Those Things to do as a Candidate

First on my list to shred is the Republican Monarch nominee, John McCain('s Super-fries). He is 71 turning 72. His health, as proven by the 1200 page health document dump (2000-2008), is questionable. Sure he sees his doctor on a regular basis but it seems that they are always finding something wrong with him. On to more important differences...

The Iraq war. Why does he support this and want to see it come to a ringing 'victory' (whatever a victory in Iraq would look like) for the US. At this point, there is no possible victory unless it means that the Oil Companies will have secured their piece of the Iraq bubbly oil pie and then the American soldiers can leave.

Torture. This article by Andrew Sullivan is illuminating. Under the current US laws regarding torture, John McCain was never tortured. But we all know he was tortured. He keeps bringing it up. So why the hell does he support Bush and company's version of torture? Fuck him. He panders more than Panda bear handlers. (note: lame, really lame joke. Might work with American audience though) http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/08/was-mccain-tort.html

Ralph Nader. Old. Past his prime. He really should not have alienated the Green Party. It drags both political camps down and puts the Green Party even more behind the eight ball to become a viable third party.

Bob Barr: Don't know much about him. He's keeping a tight lid. But I like the fact that he's siphoning of disgruntled Republican voters. Keep it up! I guess no reason to trash him. Well, his name sounds dumb.

Barack Obama, who's name should not be underlined red in my Firefox spell check anymore. If I don't win, he's going to. On to the thrashing of his good name. Obama hasn't said enough about the economy, which is on most people's minds now. Practically all the time. What with all the high and getting higher prices on commodities like food and energy. His foreign policy sounds a lot like other US presidents in this last century. Which is to say "US uber alles." American exceptional-ism is no longer a viable world policy. Stop talking about US interests. Start talking about World interests. The interests of your neighbours. Say a word or two about how you are going to listen to International Courts instead of Bush's plan to cover his ears and sing loudly.

Also, Obama's reluctance to fight Telecom immunity during the FISA bill (which was about giving communications businesses immunity from prosecution from violating the law because the government said that they should help out by violating US law. This is in regards to domestic spying. i.e. wire taps.) Filibuster that shit, Obama! Too late, too late, is mine and others cry to the void of hedging your political bets you son of a b...

I shouldn't bring your mother into this. I'm sure she wasn't a bitch and therefore calling you a son of a bitch is not fair to her. How's about, bastard? No, again with the mother thing. Hmmm... well, I'll come up with a word to describe your pandering to the lowest common denominator. To be fair, you don't pander to the lowest common denominator most of the time. Kudos, milquetoast.

I'm out of here. My campaign team and I are now manufacturing bumper stickers with our motto, Fuck It.

Faux Presidential Campaigns by some Smart-ass Blogger

In light of my recent announcement that I am running for President of the United States, I would like to separate myself from other such declarations made by others throughout the internet.

I am not scandal ridden like so many other bloggers before me. There are no skeletons in my closet that I am not willing to divulge for a campaign contribution or some free press. I have never cheated on my past girlfriends, though on the other hand, I don't mind helping them cheat on their partners.

Another difference is that I have a political policy (Fuck It) that will dictate all my other governmental policies. If I may try to better define Fuck It for you the reader and possible vote.
It is a "counter-punch" reaction to shit that a) is going on now, b) happened in the past, c) will inevitably happen, or d) is always happening. I hope that helps a little. I haven't hammered out all the little details, the what ifs, and the what-have-yous but it will soon be clear.

I also think I differentiate from the rest of the faux field by my virtue of being from another country. You will hear more from me, that I assure.

In peace, love, and drug-induced euphoria,
forever yours,
O'Really, the one real, actual choice for President of the United States of America

Fuck it, I'm running for President of the USA

Fuck it will be my campaign slogan. It will be my motto, my mantra, to impart on the millions of potential electors that I am the only one with a totally honest reason for wanting to become the President of the United States.

So, I guess I'll start by outlining some of my policies. First, my total honesty policy. I admit I was not born in your country. Technically, neither was John McCain. He was born in Panama. Though, Panama was under US control, it's still another fucking country. Because Iraq was under US control, would we consider someone born there an American? No. I was born in Vancouver, B.C. which is only an hour's drive from the Canadian-American border. I guess I could qualify by proxy.

Fuck it will be incorporated to every policy measure. Like, the American penchant for meddling in sovereign nations. Fuck it, I'm going to put a total stop on it. I will make sure that the US is on a level playing field that the rest of the United Nation nations is playing on.

Get rid of the loophole that allows short selling. This is how hedge funders make most of their doughy dough. This kind of 'borrowing', normally called stealing elsewhere in the free world, is a big cause of the inflated prices everyone else who are not them see every time they shop for groceries or pump fuel.

This is just a start. I will, in further posts, outline a brighter future for Americans. Why, you might ask, would a Canadian be so interested in running for office of it's neighbour downstairs? Well, I'm sick of them infecting the world with their particular brand of imperialism.

Fuck it.

First Blog, First Post, Big Deal

I have never, ever blogged for myself. I have blogged on other people's sites. Ostensibly that was for myself but I always had to keep in mind, the audience. What a drag. Like on DKos, where one would state something as innocuous as "Iraqis fighting the American army are just freedom fighters fighting for their nation." You would expect at least one person backing you up.

Oh, yes, this happened about a year ago where the sentiment I just espoused was poo-pooed into the nether regions of one's 'progressive liberal' mind. Now, this sentiment is more than ok and the progressive liberal mind of the American can handle such a thought. Yes, it is small and petty of me to bring this up but it brings me to the larger point; expressing unpopular ideas even though you are most assuredly are right.

This approach takes equal measure arrogance, but balanced out nicely that you will in fact be called all sorts of names. "Asshole," "delusional," "Troll (what, troll for common sense, yeesh)," and the nicest one being, "not a troll just very confused."

So, from my little lesson, I think we can gather that expressing unpopular views will get you negative reactions. And when those unpopular views become mainstream thought, don't brag about it. The smug satisfaction I feel does not have a topper to being this right. Besides, it's so called unpopular opinions that are right (has to be right, you can't just say things willy nilly now) that will get people into actually thinking, "yeah, maybe that asshole was right about it."

Or most likely, they will have forgotten what you said, post your thought as their thought and collect all the kudos you think you ought to have. But that's not important. Your idea, your thought, your thesis, is or was out there for everyone to read. To reject, to deny, or to perhaps one day seep into their subconscious and let them tell a bigger, wider, audience than you could have at the time.

Didn't know where I was going with this but I liked where it ended up. Next up: How to know you're right. Maybe down the road, for that one.