First Lady

Technically I am single. Though, my relationship(s) would be controversial if I told anyone. Basically I am married to my hands. ahem.

So, now that we got that out of the way, I am having trouble with all the positive news coming out of the Democratic National Convention. Speech after speech. Hit after hit. I cannot abide by this, this... wonderfulness. So Fuck It.

I am looking for a 1st lady. If you look like this:


or are named Jill Hennessey then we'll get along just fine.