Campaign for Prez!

It's going great out here! The tight knit group of campaigners and volunteers I have working for me are the cream of the crop. The best of the best and also, well, the easiest people in the world to convince they are doing something great for humankind.

The suckers.

But that's another story. I'm just going to come right out and say it. I need campaign funds. Neeeeed! The top runners, McCain/Palin, and Obama/Biden, are raising hundreds of millions. Now, I'm not asking for that kind of money. It would be nice to say, "we have hundreds of dollars in the campaign coffers," but we can't because it would be a lie.

And I think that's a sad reflection on you, my supposed supporters. So get up there and pony up the cash. Have fundraisers and tell people it's for sick, dying kids in Africa. 'Cause in a way, it is. I plan, if I get elected, to help out the African nations who are suffering the worst with a AIDS Knowledge program and getting other rich people to fund that program so that the government is not the only entity picking up this enormous bill. So, in other words, technically, you are not lying when you say and do this. Please do this!

I know a lot of you have been clamoring for me to explain my Fuck IT policy. Well, in case you haven't looked at the other contenders, they're not telling you about their policies either. Ok, some, but not too much. Fuck IT will be implemented in all government agencies where applicable. It will also go by the code name: Why Not? There, you happy? Damnable nitpickers!

One more thing, before I go. Man, this election season is long. If this were any other democracy, the campaign wouldn't last more than three months and more likely, two. Fuck this forever campaigning shit.

Oh, well. I've let you know what's inside my mind. Sorry for the great distance from the last campaigning post to this one. I was... busy.

Remember, to vote. Oh, yeah, Canada is gearing up for an election of the Federal kind. It ends before the American one. That's a gas.

Corporate Welfare

700 billion dollars for banks that ceased to function. Here is a link you can use to tell you why the government intervention isn't the problem but how it is being done.

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20081006/greider

An excerpt:

Let me be clear. The scandal is not that government is acting. The scandal is that government is not acting forcefully enough--using its ultimate emergency powers to take full control of the financial system and impose order on banks, firms and markets. Stop the music, so to speak, instead of allowing individual financiers and traders to take opportunistic moves to save themselves at the expense of the system. The step-by-step rescues that the Federal Reserve and Treasury have executed to date have failed utterly to reverse the flight of investors and banks worldwide from lending or buying in doubtful times. There is no obvious reason to assume this bailout proposal will change their minds, though it will certainly feel good to the financial houses that get to dump their bad paper on the government. (emphasis added)

Exactly what the US institutions need. Bailouts are one thing. Bailouts with just money thrown behind are stupidly criminal. Read the whole damn thing. It won't make you feel better and there is an off-chance you might vomit.

I nearly did.

Upcoming Canadian Election

That's right, the federales are pushing this one. In October. Of this year. Eat your heart out, America. It only takes us a few months to get the democratic ball of justice rolling. You guys take freakin' years.

That said, I don't know which way I'm voting. My politics says NDP but the constituent in me says Conservative. Living in Abbotsford, B.C., Ed Fast has done nothing but good. In case you're wondering why I would ever vote Conservative. He's the damn reason, not Harper. Whom I don't particularly think is a good PM even though he has done a few things worthy of admiration.

One being that he saw the Dalai Lama in his office instead of a hotel room. Unlike so many other world leaders afraid to piss off China.

Faux Presidential Campaigns by some Smart-ass Blogger

In light of my recent announcement that I am running for President of the United States, I would like to separate myself from other such declarations made by others throughout the internet.

I am not scandal ridden like so many other bloggers before me. There are no skeletons in my closet that I am not willing to divulge for a campaign contribution or some free press. I have never cheated on my past girlfriends, though on the other hand, I don't mind helping them cheat on their partners.

Another difference is that I have a political policy (Fuck It) that will dictate all my other governmental policies. If I may try to better define Fuck It for you the reader and possible vote.
It is a "counter-punch" reaction to shit that a) is going on now, b) happened in the past, c) will inevitably happen, or d) is always happening. I hope that helps a little. I haven't hammered out all the little details, the what ifs, and the what-have-yous but it will soon be clear.

I also think I differentiate from the rest of the faux field by my virtue of being from another country. You will hear more from me, that I assure.

In peace, love, and drug-induced euphoria,
forever yours,
O'Really, the one real, actual choice for President of the United States of America