Campaign for Prez!

It's going great out here! The tight knit group of campaigners and volunteers I have working for me are the cream of the crop. The best of the best and also, well, the easiest people in the world to convince they are doing something great for humankind.

The suckers.

But that's another story. I'm just going to come right out and say it. I need campaign funds. Neeeeed! The top runners, McCain/Palin, and Obama/Biden, are raising hundreds of millions. Now, I'm not asking for that kind of money. It would be nice to say, "we have hundreds of dollars in the campaign coffers," but we can't because it would be a lie.

And I think that's a sad reflection on you, my supposed supporters. So get up there and pony up the cash. Have fundraisers and tell people it's for sick, dying kids in Africa. 'Cause in a way, it is. I plan, if I get elected, to help out the African nations who are suffering the worst with a AIDS Knowledge program and getting other rich people to fund that program so that the government is not the only entity picking up this enormous bill. So, in other words, technically, you are not lying when you say and do this. Please do this!

I know a lot of you have been clamoring for me to explain my Fuck IT policy. Well, in case you haven't looked at the other contenders, they're not telling you about their policies either. Ok, some, but not too much. Fuck IT will be implemented in all government agencies where applicable. It will also go by the code name: Why Not? There, you happy? Damnable nitpickers!

One more thing, before I go. Man, this election season is long. If this were any other democracy, the campaign wouldn't last more than three months and more likely, two. Fuck this forever campaigning shit.

Oh, well. I've let you know what's inside my mind. Sorry for the great distance from the last campaigning post to this one. I was... busy.

Remember, to vote. Oh, yeah, Canada is gearing up for an election of the Federal kind. It ends before the American one. That's a gas.

Upcoming Canadian Election

That's right, the federales are pushing this one. In October. Of this year. Eat your heart out, America. It only takes us a few months to get the democratic ball of justice rolling. You guys take freakin' years.

That said, I don't know which way I'm voting. My politics says NDP but the constituent in me says Conservative. Living in Abbotsford, B.C., Ed Fast has done nothing but good. In case you're wondering why I would ever vote Conservative. He's the damn reason, not Harper. Whom I don't particularly think is a good PM even though he has done a few things worthy of admiration.

One being that he saw the Dalai Lama in his office instead of a hotel room. Unlike so many other world leaders afraid to piss off China.