Alive in the Un(Known)

This is obviously not a theory that works for everyone. This is the way I live. By the seat of my pants.

And when I thought I met a fellow traveller who did the same thing; I flew in feet first with my left foot being caught in a leg hold trap.

Hey, Reese! Thanks for letting me come on to strong with you. Now, I know how to conduct myself. You are going to be a strong woman.

The age thing should have clued me in. There is a World! of worlds of worlds of different between 21 and 32. Especially, the life I lead.

I'm a very intense person but I know when I broke someone's "booze". I have always known when to leave a room.

Thanks for reading what I had to write. I'm not obsessive, I just go where I'm needed. And if you don't need me there, then I'm not going. I will visit my Aunt, though.

And you cannot stop me!!!

This is my first attempt at a video.

The first one is called "Hugo Chavez Overdrive" I enjoyed playing it and listening to it again. Pardon the 'quick cam' grainy footage. Get over it if you don't like it. It's music!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKKqs8oBB_U

Here is the second song. It is called, "Willis Dyer". I saw a video called, "Gentrification" by him and you would not believe the noise you can here. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDRV4K5D8nI

about a black man not being able to get some sleep. They call it 'Urban Renewal':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faR4EtV2Nk4

This one is one take. Dedicated to your hard work in winning me back from my morose, "What Have I Done!? phase" Here's some fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGxlzKvlvus

This one is called Reeses Peeces Jam.

Pictures with my Family

First, my niece and nephew. That would be Annie and Benjamin. I like pictures where children's eyes are closed. It makes them even more goofy and fun.


Me with bad hair. I cut it short since I am experiencing male pattern baldness.


The whole mess. With my infamous back.


Me, on the left. Left, right, left, left!

Me on the left, again

Thank you for your Blog.

Reeses Peeces, if I had not found your blog, I would have no idea that someone out there was as interesting as me.

You are a very special person and I am sorry I overwhelmed you. I have been alone for a very long time and I always get so excited when I see my equal that I over-react and scare the bejesus out my friends.

Oh yes, you don't have to be my friend but you will always be friend. I finally found a woman who was interested in me. You have no idea how many people don't understand I word I say.

Not 911, not the police, my doctor and parents hardly believe me. They think I'm being paranoid., But, I am 100% psychologically sound.

Sorry, I didn't tell you about the bi-polar disorder. I had to diagnose it myself. They kept telling me I was mentally ill. When in fact, the world is mentally ill and I happen to be one of the few healthy people in it.

You, Charise, Reeses Peeces, unlocked my words. And for that, you have my undying gratitude. You should come visit soon. I'm great at solving human problems but it looks like you are taking care of that as well.

I hope you find what you are looking for. And if you cannot find it: give me a shout. I'll point you in the right direction. Or, in the nearest vicinity of least total chaos and destruction.

Hey Reeses Peeces!

I got a spare room in case you ever come by and visit. I made it cool and it is cool because it is my best friend, who also happens to be my ex-girlfriends, storage space.

Well, I found a bed in the landing at my apartment. I cleaned up the storage around. You have closet space. That's if you decide to come visit. You don't have to.

I have bi-polar disorder and I really should stay off the internets when I my illegal medicine is not around.

It gets me into all kinds of trouble. I didn't mean to scare you. I would like to be your friend.


Thanks. The pics above are what the room looks like. Again, taken by friend Jason. He is the only friend I have that visits and he can only do so during lunch hour. He has a family, a job, a daughter, and apparently, a life outside my small part of the universe.

The only people I talk to are Americans telling me weird shit. (I don't where to begin but they keep leaving me messages that I won a free trip. Yet, I have no way of being able to take this free trip because the motherfuckers don't leave me with any clues as to how to actually take this trip.

I recently hung out with homeless people by the 7-11. I had lost my wallet and asked this guy named Ted if

he would keep an eye out for it for me. Well, soon after I told him, I knew where I had put my wallet. So, two hours later, an idea dawned on me...

I should go back and repay them for lost wallet. It costs me 55 dollars. and so I gave him 60. He shared with two of his buddies. I bought them all cold Frappucinos. The Starbucks kind that doesn't have to much volume but sure tastes good.

When I told them that as far as I was concerned me and them were the same. One guy answered, "Really?"

Fuck its weird when people get marginalized. But I told him we are the same without telling him not to get down on himself.

And later, two hours later, I brought down 2 clothing bags of clothes. One for Ted, one for the other guys. I met a cool, unemployed guy named Pat. Reminded me of my
old friend, Greg, now living in Calgary, Alberta, in a Rehabilitation center,. He's working there and he is not a client, though, once was.

He was my drug buddy. And now when he up jumped the boogie then banged all the way to Calgary, I decided to quit smoking crack as I was smoking just as much as he was. I smoked a lot of pot to compensate. A lot!

Anyway, I'll continue posting about my life here and try to make judgements on your posts where necessary.

I am sorry I fucked up. I was not on my medication. Please forgive my forwardness. It was rather unbecoming of me.

Tootles!

I am now in my Habitat.

Here is me playing bass guitar in exactly and no more than three poses. 'Cause that's all the pictures my friend Jason took.

Charise. Reese

I am 6'2 and weigh 175 - 185 pounds. I am 32 and am very nitpicky about who I am with and am not with.

That is all. I need you to find me. The outside world scares me and it doesn't seem to scare you.

So, there! ha ha ha hah a ha.

I am also hilarious if you have not read this blog and not find me funny then you are not funny and that's fine with me. Easy pickings when the dry humor rolls along.


Ta ta!

Damsel in distress!!!

I'm all alone. There is no one but my mom and dad who even take a look at me. For Christmas, it was only me and my parents. my brother and sister and nephew and niece did not show up because I use hard drugs.

Seriously, they have no respect for me and it hurt like hell. Now, I need my knight *(reeses pieces) to come and rescue me from my plight and get here to where I live and asses me.

I have a great place to live at. It has art work everywhere., Transformers everywhere,. Plants, hyanginig, Cacti,

Forgive the speloiing mistakes, I am nervous as jhell. Please contact and confirm destination time with me. I need someone to hold me and tell me that I don't have to be alone anymore.

Did I mention that I am also drop dead gorgeous. I stunned the hell out of the people at 7-11 at 6:30 in the morning. I am also a believer in Christianity, Muslim-Islam and the Jewish faith and always in the way of the Buddhist.

Crystal Meth Abusers are Stupid

Hello, and welcome to an ongoing series that I should have started right after my, "Meth is Alright," post.

I'm an addict. Meaning I'm addicted to CMA. (I will use this as the acronym for Crystal Methamphetamine as Crystal Methamphetamine is a pain in the arse to type out loud) (oh, did I just write, "... type out-loud?")

The abuser doesn't do the basics of humanity any justice. Like: combing or brushing his or her hair. Taking a shower. Brushing their teeth. Including flossing and at least, the very least, mouthwash.

Force yourself to eat something besides sugar packets. Like a piece of pizza. Cold is a good temperature for food to be ingested at the CMA level. Breakfast Burritos at McDonald's have a good texture and for your temperature of food needs, it operates at a both 'hot n' cold' setting.

So, with basic hygiene, we solve a lot of problems that CMA causes. Like: greasy hair, pimples where there were no pimples before, and maybe you could stop picking at your face and just wash it for once. Go take a shower. A cold one. A warm one. A hot one, especially. That will get rid of all the snakes underneath the skin for you.

If you have trouble eating while on CMA, I can empathize with that. It is very difficult to eat anything.

But!!!

Your body needs food. And not eating for three days will rob you of essentials you go through out your day as a 'normal' functional member of society. If not eating, then try protein shakes. Slim Fast works, too. I have used that and it definitely is a meal replacement. Though, I try not to live solely on liquid meals. Tends to soften one's stool a little too much. Ahem...

Also, drink plenty of water and especially real fruit juice. I recommend buying frozen cans of juice because they are often under a dollar a can and can provide many glasses of real sugar (glucose) to your immune system that needs to fight off those open sores you keep picking at.

Mix it up. I buy six cans of all different flavoured juices, with one double, usually Cranberry because I hate it because it tastes the worse but I think it helps the most. You would be surprised how long a frozen container of Orange juice lasts. What I do, is not mix it a big container. I let the frozen can sit in the fridge, then take the top off, pour enough to make a glass full of juice; in a glass; and then add water.

A little juice goes a long way into giving you those Gatorade electrolytes that you need so badly when you've been up all night, writing blog posts like this one. Ahem.

Like I said, I'm an addict. I don't like being addicted to CMA. It is not anybody's idea of a fun time. But... But, I am learning control of it. I have learned that three weeks without it is not the end of the world but the beginning of one where I don't have to give in to my cravings for it.

I am stronger than my drug of choice. I am learning to live without it and it's a struggle. So, please, friends and family, know that I am trying and that I have greatly reduced my allotted money for CMA by less than half.

That's right! From $780.00 a month to $320.00. I think I'm on the road to wellness.

Peace and God Be With You. Whatever that something that keeps you going; well, I call it god. It's simple, short, and with the lower case 'g'; easily palatable.

Hello, Jamie Stephens.

Hi. My name is Ron Kroeker. I live in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada. Now... that's in the Southwest of Canada. Right along the border to the big, bad, United States of American Bullshit.

I fucking hate living so near my declared enemy for life. Cause it is as the good man, James Hetfield of Metallic says: The U.S. of A for asshole; : "Hunt you down without Mercy, Hunt You Down All Night Mare LOng. "

'Cause that's what those motherfuckers in that motherfucking country do. They fuck with other people, in other countrys', mothers. By...

Killing their sons. By killing their son's wife, by "killing anything that moves, on anything that flies..." That's an actual quote by an American President by the name of Richard Nixon.

now, let's slow down, Jamie...

Please Read! carefully,

Go back and start from the beginning...





Good. Now think about what a good writer I am. You helped me out and your my friend and I don't even know you. Now, I think I recognize good qualities and good traits when I was a young man but a Man none the less you be.

I have to trust my instincts here and stop typing and explain what I would like to do for You.

My friend, if you embark on this journey with me...

You are now...


OFFICIALLY, a MEMBER of "THE" Best band in the world.

I don't care if I ever play my Bass Guitar again with any other musicians. I simply don't give a shit if there is a better guitarist than you.

Now, know this. I am deadly serious about my ability as a bass player. I am now currently playing on my Computer, Death Magnetic.

I am playing it over and over and over again until it locks in. And man...

It Is LOCKED!

So, the name of our band is "The Landed Gentry". I will brook no argument about the band name or any band decisons I make. Because this is MY BAnd that I'm telling you that you are automatically a part of based on the way you talk, the way you write and especially the way you talk about music.

What I do like is the confidence in your ability to be able to play, "The Day That Never Comes" Even an attempt at that heavy music that we both enjoy and I'm sure you find it just as cathartic as I do.

I fall asleep to heavy music all the time. It relaxes. And you know what else helps relax me is, Crystal Methamphetamine. For some reason, this drug that makes everything fast, makes me a very quiet and thoughtful person. I am always at my most quietest when I am alone.

And believe me, I am ALL Alone! I am so scared of being scared that I'm not scared being alone.

So, if you want to figure out a way for us to meet and play music together and see 'a brother from another mother', then by all means...

PM me back.

I'll get around to the forum whenever I feel good enough to talk to, My only friend...

in the world...

I'm really scared shitless this meeting of the minds won't ever happen. Please, get back to me as soon as possible. Just say hi.

No one believes my words until they hear me speak

or other some bullshit that people add emphasis and connotation to words that mean exactly what they mean. And if this applies to you, don't comment. I happen to no more about shit than you, simply based on my varied life experience. I experience emotional pain on a far deeper level than most people. And I'm not bragging. I wish I didn't. I'm probably delusional, mentally ill, crazy, addicted to something, on something. That must be the answer to what I write.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this.

The knowledge I impart,
with knowledge you depart.

You Can't Stop Progress

I've been doing a lot of thinking today and I came to a realization, a truth if you will, about society.

You can't have a society without the dregs of society. There will always be street prostitution, there will always be drugs, there will always be criminals doing crimes whether the media reports is or not. Crime is not dictated by the media, a politician, a demagogue, a police officer, or the elderly.

You also cannot eradicate terrorism or evil or inconvenient truths. There will always be a percentage of us that do not comply with society at all. "They fell through the cracks, they never belonged, they were lost nearly from the start."

Society's problem and solution is always trying to fill the cracks with some concrete crackdown toughness. The War on Drugs. The War on Terrorism. Zero Tolerance. Three Strikes Your Out. The War on Evil. The War on Crime. Instead of "tough new cracking skulls" policies, society needs to show compassion and understanding but with a firm but not too firm grip on limiting the always present ills of society.

For an example of society implementing bludgeons to fill the crack... In every fucking speech George Bush makes he mentions some inane shit about eradicating "Extreme Islamists" or eradicating "terror in our time" or "destroying evil, wherever evil is." You cannot possibly do this. Ever. All of society, in all its power, and if in one moment we could combine our goodwill and address all of society's ills, we would fail.

Society having its dregs is a feature of society that will never see its end.

What kind of Utopian hell would we create in its absence?

Alive in the (un)known

Taking a break from stupidities from the faux campaign. I mean, seriously, even for faux campaigns I'm not serious. My dog for running mate? Fuck it.

Being alive is a state of life. A rite of passage for the poverty stricken. The next meal, the next drink of clean water, shelter, health. Alive is a way of life.

Alive till the next light and then a state of life is fought for. Never expecting more than the next meal, clean water, shelter, clothes, and maybe good health; if you're lucky.